all white

today
I broke free
from all (of my) traditions
and drove the long way home on slippery roads,
but not before I let a child kiss me on the lips if
only to return it, then walked along a frozen shore
towards the pier and its long view, climbed upon an
icy wall with "silent lifting mind", lashes coated white,
faced upwards to the falling snow and sang outloud,
"How Love Should Be" with no one else around,
sipped coffee from a silver cup beside my father's grave,
a steamy slide of irish cream quite hot against
the throat as I lay down one red rose upon
his stone and later traced 12 steps into
a church as if it were my home, stayed
to watch its shadows draw long lines
of silence past the ceiling of a
powergreaterthanmyself and held
the door for everyone I met,
and yet, much later in a
muffled march, exactly
down the middle of a
whitened road, its
lightened darkness
drew me back again,
its quiet capture
tumbling into skin
pressed up to pane,
to strain to hear
the lake,
the trees
through glass,
these words,
their s p i l l
inside my head
and sitting down
to write the white,
its light,
but
this
time
chosing
to
say
"I "